Confidence is Power

Call it what you will, Swagger, Cocky or Confidence, these traits exude Power.  My blog is based on the majestic alpha animal, the all powerful Lion.  In the animal kingdom, this powerful alpha beast shows its dominance by his movement, posture and voice.  In the real world, humans are no different.

You know the saying about the 10 second rule? You can walk into a room and size up a person within the first 10 seconds, that’s why they say make your first impressions last.  In corporate America, the most confident person can be spotted very easily by the way he carries himself, the way he moves and his posture when sitting or standing.  He/She let’s everyone knows they are there in the room and usually the non-confident person tries to make him/herself less noticeable.

So why should you care if you are confident or not?

Studies show confidence can reduce stress

In a recent study by Dana Carney, Amy Cuddy, and Andy Yap in the book “Power Posing”, reveals psychological and behavioral changes typically associated with powerful people.  Confident people felt more powerful, were more willing to take risks, and experienced significant increases in testosterone along with decreases in cortisol (the body’s chemical response to stress.)

Ever notice why the top sales people or the fast movers and shakers in corporate America move up and keep going up, confidence is definitely the key.  Besides, who doesn’t want more stress in life?

So below are 5 useful tips to jump-start your confidence into power transformation.

5 tips to gain confidence and power

1.  Posture – Don’t slouch, as simple as this may sound this is where people mess up the most.  When you walk or sit, keep the shoulders upright, show the world you are here and be noticed.  This simple fix will increase the perception that you are very confident.

Also just like the golden rule in interview techniques, always do a firm handshake even if it’s a female.  I remember one time I shook a female ceo’s hand very lightly and she blasted me because I should always shake everyone’s hand with the same firmness, never again did I shake another females hand very lightly.

Last but not least is eye contact, we all know it’s important to keep eye contact but the big mistake is when we stare like a robot.  Be firm with your eye contact, gaze deep in the eyes but always…always…make sure to make it seem natural by looking away at times or raising the eyebrows with emotions.  Staring like a mad man just to keep eye contact is a big no no.

2.  Tone – Don’t be soft spoken when you talk, a strong and firm tone can increase your confidence perception like night and day…it’s that dramatic!  Even if you don’t have a strong voice, always make sure even if you are unsure of the words coming out your mouth to be crisp and firm.  Raise the tone when you talk and you will see a difference.

3.  Movement – There is a reason why people say that a person has swag in their walk its because when they walk they reveal that they are confident.  Don’t walk with a slouch(posture) and don’t walk too fast to avoid people.  When walking around the office, make sure people notice you, walk in the middle of the walkway (if no one is in-front of you), walk openly and lastly walk with your chin up and head held high.  Royalty does this for a reason, its to show leadership and in order to achieve power through confidence, keep your head held high(its not just a saying folks).

4.  Mind – Do not over think things!  Just be yourself and don’t care what other people think, this is the biggest reason why some analytical people (nerds) gain a bad reputation…they are NOTORIOUS for over thinking…and that’s why the dumb jocks are NOTORIOUS for being confident, its because they don’t over-think as much…makes sense?

5.  Attitude – POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE….leave out the insecurities and negativity, its poison.  Every time you think negative or become unsure of yourself, you are actually poisoning your brain to train it in making you feel like a loser when you are actually not!  Get out of the mindset and quicksand, you always want to reassure self with positive thoughts on a daily basis.

Fish for compliments, be humble and grateful and most importantly start beginning to love yourself again.  You can be stuck being a normal looking person or you can display confidence in everything you do and can actually be perceived as a powerful, good looking and charismatic human being…now which do you prefer?

5 Tips to Gain Confidence and Power is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

I was reading an article about Indra Nooyi (Chairman and CEO of Pepsi.) She was being interviewed by CNN Money and it talked about the best advice she ever got. It was very inspiring to say the least, she talked about always trying to “assume positive intent”

“When you assume negative intent, you’re angry. If you take away that anger and assume positive intent, you will be amazed. Your emotional quotient goes up because you are no longer almost random in your response. You don’t get defensive. You don’t scream. You are trying to understand and listen because at your basic core you are saying, “Maybe they are saying something to me that I’m not hearing.” Article Link

The basics are there and that is not jumping to conclusions based on high emotions.  We all done it before and that is responding quickly to people with negative thoughts and actions.  One negative will eventually get the other to be negative and you don’t want two negatives fighting each other.

Another point of view is when you think negatively right away that the person confronting you is being malicious or diabolical.  Again this goes to the root of if you think and respond negatively, you are just going to fuel the negative fire.  Diffuse those thoughts and try to keep a level head until you fully grasp the picture.  Most of the time people just don’t wake up and say they are going to be vicious to you just because.  There is a reason why this person is confronting you this way and it would be wise to find out why before you go guns blazing.

Top Chef Angelo Sosa

A good example is Angelo Sosa from Top Chef, he is known for being hands on with his competitors food and providing suspicious advice to his competition.  Granted this is a competition but already people assume right away that he is not to be trusted and that he is trying to sabotage the competition by making himself look good.

Well season-mate Tiffany Derry witnessed this firsthand on Season 7 but when she came back with Angelo in Top Chef All Stars, she had a different outlook on the situation.  She said that after reviewing the situations from last season she came to conclusion that Angelo is not being malicious when he helps and that ultimately the Chef’s food are their responsibility and nobody else’s.

My Real Life

Personally, I actually ran across this situation recently as-well at my current company.  My boss came down on me hard about my Manager duties that were being questioned.  I just came back from Holiday Vacation and the duties she was referring to happened right after I left for my vacation.  My first gut reaction was to think that my boss has it out to get me and that she never liked me.  All those defensive emotions were being played out in my head and of course I took the wrong road by being confrontational back, showboating that my actions were not to be in question and bringing up reasons why I am so good at my job, overlooking the specific events that she brought up.

Eventually after my knee jerk reaction I did calm down and accepted my mistake that happened and left feeling demoralized because I had a mistake and I couldn’t justify being right in the conversation.  It wasn’t  until I got home and read Indra’s article that made me realize that maybe my Boss wasn’t being malicious and that she was just actually doing her job in addressing a problem that came up.  I felt so bad afterwards because I came to the conclusion that it was indeed an innocent feedback from her and I should be more focusing on how to learn from my mistake.   That is after-all the best way to be successful is to learn from your mistakes and move forward.

The Power of Assuming Positive Intent is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

(photo credit: Woodruff Photography)

Positive Reinforcement

On January 23rd 2010 I had the privilege in help organizing and speaking at a Social Media Event in Virginia Beach.  The event had many different specialty fields in marketing and a diverse audience that all came together for one main event.

It was a long journey from September 2009 to January 2010.  We had some new to speaking events and some were veterans but all in all the event was still a stressful journey, like most events.  We had lost a lot of potential speakers and had to change the line-up a few times but eventually it did work out in the end and what a bittersweet relief it was.  It was still an amazing feeling accomplishing a vision that you had portrayed a couple months back and manifesting it into a successful reality.

Looking back, I seem to of taken this event by the reins and took on a leadership role within the group.  I had noticed that it was very difficult to sometimes keep people focused on the task at hand and keep them motivated as it was almost a 6 month process with a lot of Holidays in between.  I have found that staying positive and giving my group positive reinforcement and excitement has helped tremendously both before and after the event.

It is the little things that can have an impact on people’s lives and I believed in my group which contributed to more success.  Sometimes people just need someone in their corner to encourage them it’s going to be ok and to make them dig up the courage and believe in themselves it will be a successful event.

Again there were a lot of obstacles that could of spelled disaster for the event but I chose the high road and focused on strengths and not weaknesses.  Without the push in the right direction and motivation of doing a great job with the event, some members of the group could of easily drifted away or crumble.  As a leader, we must show positive reinforcement within our group as a testament of believing in them for without it then why should they believe in you.

Positive Reinforcement As A Leader is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions