Keeping Cool Under Pressure

One of the biggest mistakes we can do is act on emotion or react without thinking.  This can affect us both personally and in business.

Having a clear mind when making decisions is more productive and positive than reacting with emotion due to stress or other sensitive factors.  We all had those moments where we feel guilty or regretful AFTER our impulsive decisions.

So how do we deal with stress and preventing actions based on emotion?  There any many stress relievers out there that range from stress balls to massages but I want to focus on the root of these techniques and that is the Breathing and Clear Mind element.

I was reading a book by Russell Simmons called “Do You” and Russell talks about his various breathing techniques and Yoga classes.

Breathing Techniques

First we must learn to be at one with our Breathing.  Breathing is the most natural form and is something we tend to forget that we do on a daily basis.

Whenever we act upon emotion or become stresses our heart rate rises and because we are not getting enough oxygen at that moment we become uncontrollable and stressed.

You know that saying take a few breaths through a paper bag and just breathe in and out?

We have to learn to just Breathe when under pressure and not let our emotions take control of us.  When presented with a stressful situation remove yourself from the picture and just focus on breathing techniques.  The simplest form is counting to 10 and breathing in rhythm with your count.  You will be amazed how much your heart race will slow down and be able to think more clearly when making your next decision.

Yoga

The next form in breathing is like in the act of Yoga.  Before you begin your day or even when you are about to go to bed, try removing yourself from all distractions and find a nice and quiet spot to practice your breathing technique and even try meditating.  This habit will surely put you in a better mind set to start your day right or even end your day on  a positive and zen fashion.

Do You Have True Blood? Keeping Cool Under Pressure is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

“I Destroy My Enemies When I Make Them My Friends” – Abraham Lincoln

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“Treat your friend as if he will one day be your enemy, and your enemy as if he will one day be your friend”

“Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.” – Michael Corleone

 

In Business or in Personal, Enemies are the forces we are sought to stay away from and become bitter towards.

Why do we feel we must ignore our enemies and do everything we can to stay away from them?  What is a true “Enemy?

In Business an “Enemy” could be the competition, they may be good people but because they are affecting our pockets of success they are considered enemies.

Personal Life an “Enemy” are people we don’t trust or affected us emotionally to become hatred towards or bitter.

So in both instances, enemies are our rivals or people who we do not want to be associated with because of an act or emotion delivered upon us.  The complete opposite of an enemy is a “Friend” right?  Why can’t both enemies and friends be intertwined?

What do we have to lose?

I personally use to be stubborn and bitter towards all my enemies in both business and personally then I found out that I am feeding negative emotions just like when I feed towards people who are haters or jealous of me.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.

It’s like the classic story in War where there may be 5 nations under one rule where the Tyrant controls all 5 nations but is completely vicious and corrupt.  Instead of the 5 nations struggling fighting with each other, the nations should join forces towards one common goal is relinquishing power from the evil tyrant.

So what do we have to gain from keeping your enemies close by or putting up with their presence?

• Insight / Preparation – You will become the chess master and know every single move of your enemies while preparing yourself for your own success.
• Opportunities – You will let your enemy focus elsewhere giving you the opportunity to expand or achieve the results you want with less resistance.
• Growth/Zen – Personally you will grow as a person and in business due to letting your heart and mind become free of this negative emotion.  It takes a lot more time and energy to focus on hatred and resentment than it is to let go and move to better yourself and your business.

Why friends can be more dangerous than enemies

You know the old saying that your loved ones and friends can hurt you the most than any other enemy in the world can?  We get blindsided when our loved ones or friends back-stab or endanger us.  In Robert Greene’s 48 laws of power he explains why Friends can be worse than Enemies.

Never put too Much Trust in Friends, Learn how to use Enemies

“Be wary of friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy.  They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more to prove.  In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies.  If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.”
So let’s not focus on the negatives and let’s crush our enemies by making them our friends, what do you think?

I Destroy My Enemies When I Make Them My Friends is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

Confidence is Power

Call it what you will, Swagger, Cocky or Confidence, these traits exude Power.  My blog is based on the majestic alpha animal, the all powerful Lion.  In the animal kingdom, this powerful alpha beast shows its dominance by his movement, posture and voice.  In the real world, humans are no different.

You know the saying about the 10 second rule? You can walk into a room and size up a person within the first 10 seconds, that’s why they say make your first impressions last.  In corporate America, the most confident person can be spotted very easily by the way he carries himself, the way he moves and his posture when sitting or standing.  He/She let’s everyone knows they are there in the room and usually the non-confident person tries to make him/herself less noticeable.

So why should you care if you are confident or not?

Studies show confidence can reduce stress

In a recent study by Dana Carney, Amy Cuddy, and Andy Yap in the book “Power Posing”, reveals psychological and behavioral changes typically associated with powerful people.  Confident people felt more powerful, were more willing to take risks, and experienced significant increases in testosterone along with decreases in cortisol (the body’s chemical response to stress.)

Ever notice why the top sales people or the fast movers and shakers in corporate America move up and keep going up, confidence is definitely the key.  Besides, who doesn’t want more stress in life?

So below are 5 useful tips to jump-start your confidence into power transformation.

5 tips to gain confidence and power

1.  Posture – Don’t slouch, as simple as this may sound this is where people mess up the most.  When you walk or sit, keep the shoulders upright, show the world you are here and be noticed.  This simple fix will increase the perception that you are very confident.

Also just like the golden rule in interview techniques, always do a firm handshake even if it’s a female.  I remember one time I shook a female ceo’s hand very lightly and she blasted me because I should always shake everyone’s hand with the same firmness, never again did I shake another females hand very lightly.

Last but not least is eye contact, we all know it’s important to keep eye contact but the big mistake is when we stare like a robot.  Be firm with your eye contact, gaze deep in the eyes but always…always…make sure to make it seem natural by looking away at times or raising the eyebrows with emotions.  Staring like a mad man just to keep eye contact is a big no no.

2.  Tone – Don’t be soft spoken when you talk, a strong and firm tone can increase your confidence perception like night and day…it’s that dramatic!  Even if you don’t have a strong voice, always make sure even if you are unsure of the words coming out your mouth to be crisp and firm.  Raise the tone when you talk and you will see a difference.

3.  Movement – There is a reason why people say that a person has swag in their walk its because when they walk they reveal that they are confident.  Don’t walk with a slouch(posture) and don’t walk too fast to avoid people.  When walking around the office, make sure people notice you, walk in the middle of the walkway (if no one is in-front of you), walk openly and lastly walk with your chin up and head held high.  Royalty does this for a reason, its to show leadership and in order to achieve power through confidence, keep your head held high(its not just a saying folks).

4.  Mind – Do not over think things!  Just be yourself and don’t care what other people think, this is the biggest reason why some analytical people (nerds) gain a bad reputation…they are NOTORIOUS for over thinking…and that’s why the dumb jocks are NOTORIOUS for being confident, its because they don’t over-think as much…makes sense?

5.  Attitude – POSITIVE POSITIVE POSITIVE….leave out the insecurities and negativity, its poison.  Every time you think negative or become unsure of yourself, you are actually poisoning your brain to train it in making you feel like a loser when you are actually not!  Get out of the mindset and quicksand, you always want to reassure self with positive thoughts on a daily basis.

Fish for compliments, be humble and grateful and most importantly start beginning to love yourself again.  You can be stuck being a normal looking person or you can display confidence in everything you do and can actually be perceived as a powerful, good looking and charismatic human being…now which do you prefer?

5 Tips to Gain Confidence and Power is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

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Having a lack of self-confidence seems to be everyone’s downfall in life.  The way you view and feel about yourself directly affects your confidence and if that self image is not in a positive manner, then your confidence will go downhill.

It’s very hard to always have high self-esteem and have high self-confidence always in life because there are many things that you can’t control in life that will cross your path.

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

The Serenity Prayer reminds us that although we shouldn’t stress about the things we can’t control life but only focus on the things you can control.

So here are some tips in Boosting & Improving your Self-Confidence

1.  Attitude. This is probably the most important tip in building self-confidence and probably the hardest.  Attitude affects everything, if you think you are a failure then so you will be one.  However, if you believe you can succeed then you will succeed.  Start implementing Positive Thinking into your daily life more often and the end result can be life changing.

2.  Posture. Studies have shown that sitting up straight, walking with your held up high and making eye contact can greatly boost your confidence level.  You want to make an impression that you are confident in the way you carry yourself at all times.  Start complimenting your inner positive confidence with the way you handle things on the outside.  You do not want to break the balance by just having a positive attitude.

3.  Energy. Are you always feeling down or lethargic?  Boost up your confidence levels by getting your energy back.  The most simple and effective way to get energy is by working out in the mornings to start off your day right.  Increasing energy does not mean to take an energy drink but a more effective approach would be finding healthier foods and great workouts to include in your self-confidence goal.

4.  Behavior. Don’t like how things are going in your life?  Then change it up!  A quick change of habits or environment can greatly affect your positive self-image.  Try something new and get out of the rut that has kept you reaching your full confidence potential.  If you park in the same parking spot everyday, try a new parking spot.  Try a new place to get coffee.  Whatever it is, keep it fresh and out of your element and that way your not stuck in an endless rut.

5.  Appearance. If you want your inner self-image to be positive then you must also reflect that image on the outside.  Dress for success and keep your physical appearance well groomed and clean.  It’s okay to be empowered with your appearance because as long as you make that effort to make yourself look nice then your mind will match that with confidence.  Don’t take this improvement face value by buying all these expensive clothes and make overs but to wear something nice once in a while to transition your mind that you are confident in your appearance as-well.

6.  Smile. Smile, Smile, Smile.  I can’t tell you enough how simple and effective this tip can be.  Not only will you notice how your mood and attitude will change but others will too.  Studies have shown that the simple act of smiling will greatly increase your attitude and will receive more positive influences just from your smile alone.

7.  Strengths. A tip from management I learned is to focus on strengths and not weaknesses.  A weakness is associated with negativity and a strength is associated with positivity.  Take a moment and reflect upon yourself what are your strengths and keep your strengths in mind as a champions creed.

8.  Organize. Sometimes your schedule in life at work or home can be very daunting and frustrating.  Start getting more organized with your goals and tasks more often so you won’t fall in the habit of feeling frustrated or under-accomplished all the time.  Simple steps as getting a new day planner or finishing tasks before you start another can really help you organize your day better to achiever better self-confidence results.

9.  Acceptance. Going back to the serenity prayer about not worrying about the things we can’t control, Failure is one of them.  We have to accept failures in order to proceed forward in life.   Look at failures as learning points and opportunities to do better next time.  Do not dwell on failures as that can lead to a turmoil of negative thoughts.

10.  Overcome fear. Fear is one of the biggest obstacles in gaining self-confidence.  You have to set aside all your emotions on fear and dive right into the root of the problem.  If its objection from people then practice Acceptance and try over and over again.  Eventually you will gain the ability in being confident in who you are where objections from people will not even be on your radar in the future of stuff to worry about.  Don’t sweat the small stuff.

11.  Vision / Goals. This goes hand in hand with organize.  Have self worth and motivation for your confidence, plan out goals and vision yourself in a positive manner in achieving them.  Having a goal to work for and strive for should help you keep maintained in improving your overall self-confidence.  Aim your goals high and achieve excellence.

11 Tips to Boost and Improve Self-Confidence is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

Staying organized and focusing on tasks at hand can be very tough. I know for me that is one of the things I struggle with often. Things can get really messy if you have tasks that are not arranged by high priority to low or even worse no tasks at all.

Shooting from the hip is an old Cowboy saying that symbolizes the Wild West, Shoot first ask questions later.

At work this may seem true, we are all rushing to finish the day regardless of how sloppy we get the job done. Of course our clients or employers may not like our tactic but it seems like just like in life, we worry about rushing to get things done without slowing down and making sure we do it the right way with no lazy short cuts.

I just recently moved to the DC Metro area from Virginia Beach. Virginia Beach is such a laid back Podunk town while DC is a fast paced business oriented city. It seems like everyone in this area has to drive 80 miles just to reach their destination everyday even if its less than 2 miles away. Back in Virginia Beach, I see people “cruising” all the time just enjoying the ride, in DC I don’t think I have yet to see 1 person just “cruise” otherwise they will get yelled at for going to slow.

So the point is sometimes you have to take a step back and re-evaluate things. Stop worrying about reaching your destination so quickly, take a step back and re-focus espeically if you want to improve or change your life or business.

Effective Activities and Behavior

In Business or in Life there are times when we do things redundantly or ineffectively that doesn’t make sense in doing.  For Business for example, there are many activities that are more detrimental to our success than it is to make money.  Many people waste time doing useless tasks and activities that are not helping the overall goal of making money.

As a Loan Officer, I was always caught up in doing paperwork during the day that was very time consuming and left me little time to effectively prospect.  Prospecting is how I get business and if I don’t get any business then I don’t make any money.  I had to re-arrange my priorities and spent less time doing paperwork at work and brought most of the work load home or delegated to an assistant.

The same time consuming activities can also apply in life.  My brother was an avid poker player at the local bars where they would hold tournaments almost every couple days.  In the past his Girlfriend would always get mad at him because he would spend too much time at the bars and never enough time with her.  This is an obvious poor priority management.  The solution to this problem is that he could make work out a deal by going once or twice a month depending on how comfortable his Girlfriend would be and to shift over some of his poker playing maybe at the house or on computer.  Whatever the solution was going to be the point is to re-prioritize and ask what will it take to make it work.

A few key points to remember when re-arranging your priorities to work towards your goal or end result.

Is this productive?

1.)  Ask Yourself is this productive? Keep asking yourself this very important question over and over through out the day.  I recently came across a survey with the top producers in a sales industry and almost every single one of them had this strategy down as one of the tips to being a successful top producer.  Get your priorities is straight, if its something not making you money or helping you out with your business in the long run, then change up your game.

2.)  Write down your priorites – I have always been a big promoter of this strategy.  Most people in this world are visual thinkers and sometimes in order to get organized we need to lay our objectives and priorities down.  Start with the most important priority and work your way down to the least important.  This work wonders.

3.) Change it – They say a person is truly crazy if they keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  If things are not working the way you want it to be, don’t just wait for change, go out and make things happen.  Go out and change your habits or priorities in to making things a success.  You control your own destiny is what I always say.

Keep Asking Yourself Is What I Am Doing Now Productive? is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

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The Power of Smiling

A recent study written by the New York Times researched Predictive Smiles.  The study researched smiles from a college yearbook rating smiles by by coding muscle movements around the mouth and the eyes.  The recent study showcased that the less people smiled, the more likely they were to later divorce.

This may sound astonishing at first but in reality a Smile is a powerful emotional affect.  A Smile is contagious and infectious.

Have you ever noticed how you pronounce the word “Smile” that you form a smile right after, interesting huh?  The same token can apply with grin or grouch, it’s like these words were mean to take shape of the meaning of the word.

A Smile is a positive emotional energy that majority of people tend to attract to when seen.  The simplest form of the Law of Attraction can be expressed with a simple smile.  A great example is children and babies, you can’t help yourself whenever a child or baby smiles it seems like 2nd nature that you must smile back.

People feed off of each other’s energy every day and all day long, even if you don’t realize it, you are.  Surrounding yourself with negative behavior all the time can dampen your morale and attitude however surrounding yourself with upbeat and positive people in your will greatly improve your outlook in life.

Reverse the Poison

Let’s face it Negativity and Bad Moods are a poison in your life.  Nobody wants to be around a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer.  The same way Smiling can be infectious, so can Negativity.

Your best arsenal you have for fighting against Negativity is a simple smile, whether you are talking with someone or alone.  A Quick fix smile can boost an amazing positive vibe that will help you battle negativity.

• If you start out in a bad mood or something just irritated you, flash a quick smile to start clearing away the bad mojo

• If a person is just plain being mean and rude to you, as much as you want to retaliate and become mean back.  Step back, take a breather and calmly smile while engaging.  Ever heard the saying:

You catch more flies with Honey than Vinegar

So go ahead and reverse the poison!  Don’t let negativity and bad moods ruin your day, start by practicing to smile more often.

Reverse Negative Poison by Smiling More Often is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions

Cocky vs Confidence

More often than not, people mistake being “Cocky” in place of “Confidence”.  Cockiness in people’s eyes is a self indulgent snob who can care less about the people around them.

However, the dictionary labels Cockiness as:

“very self-confident or self-assertive”

We often jump to conclusions and mindlessly self-judge people without notice.  Majority of times, people who seem Cocky to us makes us feel inferior in someway through jealousy or  judging too quickly.  Unless that person is a total jerk to people around them, I encourage you next time to stop and open your minds for a second to look at a different point of view of that person.

Lil Wayne Theory

Rap artist Lil Wayne calls himself the greatest rapper alive.  Now most people may disagree and some people may actually agree on that statement, we may never know if he’s the greatest rapper alive but he is already achieved that status without even proving it.  Read his exact quote below:

“I don’t think I’m better than anybody personally. I don’t think I’m better than anybody spiritually. I don’t think I’m better than anybody in any way or form or fashion. But as far as this rap thing, I think I am better than everybody. I’m a competitor and I hope everybody feels the same way about their craft.“

Lil Wayne has just shown that his state of mind is that already he is the best and in order to be the best you have to first think that you are the best before you do anything else.

The first step is getting your head in the game, getting in that mental state to prepare you for your end line goal and status.  Going back to proverb 23:7 What a man thinketh, so is he just signifies that whatever you believe, you become.  Think like a winner, you are a winner.  Think like you might fail, then you will fail.

Confidence

It’s okay to be Confident.  It’s okay to show that you are assertive and you know your stuff.  People will always judge and critique on the sidelines, it’s up to you to be the forefront and stand out from the rest.  Be Bold, Be a Leader, Show that whatever you do you do it with a Rockstar confidence.  Own your strengths and don’t focus on your weakness, everyone has them but focus more on improving your strengths.

The people who don’t succeed spends majority of their time blending in and judging everyone while they sit back and watch everyone surpass them in life.  Do you want to be that person who just feeds into negative energy? Sure call me Cocky but it’s my confidence in my ability to do whatever in life is what’s going to make me successful, how about you?

It’s Not Being Cocky, It’s Showing Confidence is a post from: Self Confidence | Positive Thinking | Personal Development - Justified Lions